Liliana's Birth Story

Whew – No one tells you about the insane jump from being a Mom of one to a mom of two. Liliana was born November 6 and 8 months later we are settling in and sleeping through (most) nights and semi-feeling like humans again. We’ve been blessed with the absolute greatest pair of children imaginable and adding Lily to our family has been sweeter than I think I could have ever imagined. Lucas is SUCH a great big brother and we are so very happy.

All that being said – if you have two kids less than 2 years apart – you’ll understand why I’m behind and scatterbrained in like 50% of my life. Add in a global pandemic, working remotely with lack of childcare for quite some time, the effect a second pregnancy so soon after the first takes on a mother’s hormones and MAN it has been a whirlwind. I’m becoming an expert at giving myself grace and continuing to set reasonable goals and boundaries and ensuring that whenever possible my family gets me at my best (while also keeping the ball rolling at work, keeping friendships active, keeping house “in order”, keeping the bills paid (THERE ARE SO MANY HUMANS AND THINGS TO KEEP TRACK OF!), and the other seemingly million things we juggle on a daily basis. It can feel like a lot, but it really is beautiful.

Since I’m 8 months out from putting pen to paper on Lily’s birth, I wanted to take the chance to document it while it’s still “Fresh” in my mind. (Less than 1 year is fresh… right?). So here goes!

Probably the #1 thing people ask me about Lily’s birth was how it felt having a baby with covid being a concern. It definitely made some things harder and more lonely (pregnancy and prenatal care mostly), but my actual birth felt so much better for it. The hospital wasn’t allowing visitors so my Mom (who is a nurse) got certified as a doula so that she could be in the delivery room with us. To be honest I thought – Mom with 4 kids, a nurse, this thing is just a piece of paper. But the whole certification process and going through all the courses really helped Mom to guide me into thinking through what I wanted for this experience. When I had Lucas I was very unprepared and figured the nurses and hospital would help me much more than they did, I didn’t realize how clinical and isolating US maternity care can be. I chose a different hospital for Lily’s birth and can’t say enough positive things about how everything was handled! From birth to the kindness of the nurses in recovery, the whole thing was great.

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Lily was a few days late, so we went in bright and early for an induction. I was so nervous they’d kick my mom out and they did ask for her certification, but we got that out of the way and she was allowed to stay. (She’d also quarantined for 2 weeks prior and had a negative covid test). First thing they do for pregnant people these days is give them a covid test, so we started there and once it came back as negative we could actually start the induction.

I’ll note here how fantastic the communication from my nurses was. I had group B strep and had to get antibiotics, they explained every step and that it might burn before starting. There was a nurse in the room with us probably 85 – 90% of my time in delivery. Their job for that day was to take care of me, they weren’t over-stretched or juggling many different patients and it made a huge difference in my comfort. I was also much more prepared and knew what to expect. I wanted to try all the things before getting my epidural, my nurse even joked that she’d never seen a patient who utilized every single birthing option there was. Yoga ball, laughing gas, shower, peanut ball, walking, rocking chair – you name it, I tried it! I even had Felipe put on the Hamilton soundtrack at one point but in retrospect it’s probably good that didn’t last too long HAHAHA.

Childbirth is weird – there is some magic to your body preparing and working up to this. Contractions are super painful but it’s also kind of special as you can feel your body getting further along. At one point when I was using the gas, the contractions were literally right on top of each other and it felt like I didn’t even have time to catch my breath before another one would start, so the nurse turned down my dosage and I felt like I was pretty ready to get an epidural. I was nervous about the epidural because it didn’t work when I had Lucas but it all went swimmingly (so much so that I asked Felipe if anything was happening when I was literally having a baby LOL).

When you sign up to get an epidural they take the laughing gas machine away, so that 45 minutes was getting pretty tough. I had waited till it was pretty painful to ask for it and then had no pain control for that wait. Luckily my doula Mom had come prepared with special scents and massage balls and all sorts of tricks and tips and she and Felipe took turns holding me steady on the exercise ball while the other one massaged my lower back. I also tried a stint in the rocking chair and DO NOT RECOMMEND. Walking and the exercise ball were definitely what helped the most with the pain.

Once you get an epidural you can’t walk around (which is one reason I waited so long to get it). It worked and I decided to take a nap and get some rest while Felipe and Mom ate. (I slept with a weird peanut pillow the size of a human to help the baby progress, another doula trick that I only recommend if you’ve had an epidural). When I woke up, I started to feel a little more pain and aching so I clicked the magical button to get more medicine. That took about 10 minutes to act and the nurse came in to check how things were going. The whole day had been pretty slow and steady, I felt more progress than I had with Lucas but we still figured we were in for a long night. The nurse checked me, calmly pushed my knees together and said “Well I’m going to get the doctor cause we’re having a baby now”.

I’ll be honest, I was a little shocked because that was so unexpected. I started to cry some happy tears because I was so overwhelmed – it had been a strange and lonely pregnancy spent stuck away from so many people I loved, now I was going to meet my little girl and I literally felt no pain and it felt a bit surreal. This may be TMI but the nurse legit held my knees together to keep Lily from arriving on her own :DDD)

Doctor was there maybe 1 minute before Lily was born? I’ve had both my babies in less than 3 pushes.

The biggest covid oddity of Lily’s birth is that the first time I saw her face was on Felipe’s phone. I was wearing a mask and they put her right on my chest and I snuggled her up close and just kissed her little head through my mask. Felipe took a picture to show me because I wasn’t exactly going to pull her away from a comfortable spot to get a good look 😝. My first thought was it had to be an uncommonly good picture because there was no way any baby could actually be that beautiful. I didn’t actually get to see her face until the doctors and everyone had left and I took my mask off. (and I confirmed, she really just is an unbelievably precious baby).

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Felipe and Mom got turns holding her, Felipe did some skin to skin too and we were moved to recovery. Because of Covid, Mom couldn’t come and we couldn’t have any visitors – which ended up being sort of awesome. We just hung out in our little bubble – we walked around the nurses station a few times, took showers, took turns with Lily and alternated naps because she LOVED to be held ❤. They had just started doing hospital photos again so we were happy to be able to get those. I fed Lily formula from day 1 because we’d had such issues with Lucas losing weight when my milk never came in for him – I still did breastfeed lily for the first few weeks but only before her bottle to give it a shot and see if my milk would come in. They call postpartum the fourth trimester and that is super accurate – you have this amazing new baby, your hormones are ALL OVER THE PLACE and I’m already a highly emotional person who gets happy tears daily. Your physical body goes through more than I realized too – with both kids I’ve gotten uncontrollable shakes for awhile after they were born and was unable to sleep even when the baby was sleeping so I pulled all nighters for both. You go through this huge event and your body is almost in shock and sleeping is the last thing your brain feels like doing after that. So we started the trend of me through the night, then Felipe taking her for a few hours while I slept, both spending a few hours together, then back to alternating naps with the baby. My only complaint would be the size of the tv and the lack of programming (I think I turned on a Christmas movie at some point). It was mostly election coverage – that was another interesting layer, that a week after election day we still didn’t know which presidency Lily would be born into. (I was convinced she could sense my apprehension and was waiting until Biden was official before being born 😝).

The whole experience was like a sweet and magical vacation where everything went right. It’s a lot different becoming parents to a second kid – you know so much more and there’s a lot less stress overall. We knew what to try as we got to know Lily’s little personality and needs. I feel like the time we got alone with her for the first few weeks helped my postpartum hormones and anxiety a lot (I’ve gotten PPA with both kids, but it was much more severe with Lucas and part of that was because I knew triggers to avoid and had plans in place for difficult things like breastfeeding). We enjoyed that newborn daze so much and it is amazing how quickly Lily felt like she’d always been one of us – the sweetest and most wonderful little girl we’ve ever known. We came home and she met Lucas and we’d get Lily snuggles and Lucas playtime and transitioned to a family of 4 so flawlessly (minus a little sleep regression on Lucas’s part and the normal new parent sleeplessness). We’d take daily trips to the playground and I’d snuggle Lily while Felipe chased beanie around and it was just so sweet.

Heading back to work was a whole different story and was when the chaos of parenting two children really started :D. With the uncertainty around covid I honestly don’t know that we’d have actively tried for another baby yet had we not already been pregnant and the fact that we didn’t have that knowledge when we decided to have her will always be one of my greatest blessings. Once you become a mom kids go from theoretical (I could have a kid this year) to very real (I could have THIS kid this year). I can’t imagine my life without Lily’s perfect and sweet nature in it, she completes my heart in a way I didn’t know was possible. I honestly wondered if the love I have for Lucas was me being extra and now that I have Lily I fully understand that parenting and children are just the greatest miracle around and a parent’s love for them knows no bounds!